


If I could tell him

by minhwanie



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Fluff, I'm sorry about this, M/M, Minor Character Death, Of sorts?, Pining, Romance, Vernon as Evan and Seungkwan as Zoey, dear evan hansen au, it's not even remotely angsty tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 21:12:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12240684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minhwanie/pseuds/minhwanie
Summary: “It’s just so hard to believe that my brother even acknowledged my presence… You’re telling me he also talked about me?” Seungkwan frowned, biting back an incredulous chuckle.“Of course he talked about you! He thought you were... Awesome.” Hansol opted for simplicity.God help him.





	If I could tell him

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, everyone. So this might be a little confusing for those who haven't seen Dear Evan Hansen so I'll quickly try to explain the plot without spoiling it while still making sure you understand the setting of the fic.  
> What you need to know is that Seungkwan's brother killed himself and for some reason, people believe Vernon and him were best friends (which they obviously weren't).  
> Did I make it even more confusing? I'm sorry. Well, I hope you still enjoy it!  
> Here's the link to the original song: https://youtu.be/21OdV5RTAiM

How awkward could a situation like this get? Right, Vernon wasn’t the most skilled talker in the neighborhood, and yet there he was, sitting beside his crush on said boy’s bed. Anyone would be ecstatic, really. He also kind of was. It would be much easier, however, if the topic at hand wasn’t his crush’s dead brother. He couldn’t blame Seungkwan for wanting to know more about someone who had always been distant in his life and, all of a sudden, had a secret best friend that claimed that _maybe_ his personality wasn’t so shitty. Vernon himself would be much more confused. The other boy seemed to be handling things quite well.

“It’s just so hard to believe that my brother even acknowledged my presence… You’re telling me he also talked about me?” Seungkwan frowned, biting back an incredulous chuckle.

“Of course he talked about you!” Vernon reassured as he looked around the bedroom, searching for some sort of inspiration, something, anything really, that would keep him from talking too much and exposing himself. The hard part was that he didn’t want to leave Seungkwan hanging. He wanted the other boy to feel at least a little bit of happiness while remembering his brother. “He thought you were... Awesome.” Hansol opted for simplicity. God help him.

“He thought I was awesome? My brother?” Seungkwan scoffed while looking away. “Definitely!” the younger boy exclaimed, mentally facepalming himself. His smile widened and that alone wasn’t enough to convince his grieving friend. “How?”, came the plead, genuinely curious and innocent. Vernon wanted to scream. He should shut up, he really should. Once he started talking, it would be so damn hard to stop and the chances of making a huge mistake were, well, huge. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to stop the words coming out of his mouth as he stared at those honey eyes.

“Well…”, Hansol started of small. “He said there's nothing like your smile, sort of subtle and perfect and real… He said you never knew how wonderful that smile could make someone feel.” He awkwardly ran his fingers through his hair. His heart was starting to race and his palms were already sweating.

“And he knew whenever you get bored you scribble stars on the cuffs of your jeans…” Seungkwan chuckled at that, unconsciously tapping at the material of his pants. If you looked close enough, you could see the faint contours of messily scribbled stars that had been washed a million times.

“And he noticed that you still fill out the quizzes that they put in those teen magazines.” That earned Hansol the view of the older boy’s cheeks reddening, as if what he just heard was supposed to be some sort of secret. Vernon mildly panicked, afraid that he had come off as too creepy and that Seungkwan was ready to yell at him to go away. However, one glance at him and he knew he couldn’t stop know.

“But he kept it all inside his head… What he saw he left unsaid. And though he wanted to, he couldn't talk to you. He couldn't find the way…” At that, Seungkwan’s eyes glistened with unshed tears and Hansol couldn’t have continued any quicker. “But he would always say… If I could tell him… Tell him everything I see. If I could tell him, how he's everything to me… But we're a million worlds apart, and I don't know how I would even start.” Vernon sighed and it didn’t matter anymore if those weren’t his supposed best friend’s words anymore. This would probably be the only shot at pouring out how he felt without actually confessing. He might as well make it count.

Seungkwan eyed him hesitantly. The blonde boy covered Vernon’s hand with his (giving the other one a mild heart attack). “Did he say anything else?” He asked while staring deep into the younger boy’s soul. “A-about you?” Nice, now he was stuttering. Way to go, Hansol! For fuck’s sake. The light in Seungkwan’s eyes dimmed a little. “Never mind, I don't really care anyways.” He shrugged and waved his hand dismissively. He started to get up and Vernon panicked, grabbing the boy’s hand. “No, no, no—just, no, no—he said—he said so many things, I'm just—I'm trying to remember the best ones. So, um…” He almost bit his tongue as word after word quickly rolled off and he mentally wanted to choke himself, because how stupid did he even sound? Play it cool. Yes. That was all he needed to do.

“He thought you looked really pretty”, Hansol’s eyes widened as he realized what he was going to say. Pretty? Really? Who in the world told their friends that their older brother was pretty? “Er-  It looked pretty cool when you put indigo streaks in your hair.”

Seungkwan smiled so bright then. His heart wanted to jump out of his ribcage. “He did?” Seungkwan bit his bottom lip and Vernon could die right there. However, he had to keep going. “And he wondered how you learned to dance like all the rest of the world isn't there.”

Maybe it was just something unconscious, but he swore he felt Seungkwan squeezing his hand a bit after hearing that. The blond had a smile on his face and, even if he kept his head down, it was a sight more beautiful than anything Hansol could even think of. “He just couldn’t find the way to tell you all of this… It’s just…” He sighed, once again at a loss of words. “What do you do when there's this great divide?”

“He just seemed so far away…” Seungkwan shrugged, still some kind of unsure. “It's like I don't know anything.”

Vernon watched as Seungkwan crossed his arms over his chest, biting his lip. He just wanted to comfort the other boy, even if everything he said came from his own heart and not from whom he made it up to be. How could Seungkwan even doubt himself when he was someone so lovable, so bright, so funny, so special? Couldn’t he see himself the way Hansol did? Well, his brother was stupid if he took for granted the wonderful person he grew up with. Now it was up to Vernon to make it better, even if he didn’t want to get into this mess. He was already screwed, wasn’t he? Might as well go all the way.

“And how do you say...” The younger boy started off small. He mustered up all the courage he had left and stared right into those beautiful brown eyes. Seungkwan blinked expectantly and his heart throbbed. “I love you?” He spoke calmly and, God, it was clear as day how much he loved the boy sitting beside him. Maybe Seungkwan couldn’t see it yet, but Vernon knew something had changed in his stare. “But we're a million worlds apart and I don't know how I would even start.” Hansol muttered, wrapping his hand around Seungkwan’s in a bold movement.

And the amazing thing?

Seungkwan squeezed his hand and smiled.

Maybe, just maybe, things wouldn’t go so wrong anymore.


End file.
